Dear Peeta
by Christine Writer
Summary: Songfic: "Dear John" by Taylor Swift. Katniss/Peeta. ONESHOT. Mockingjay spoilers.


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: Songfic; "Dear John"; Katniss/Peeta.

_Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you_

_Counting my footsteps_

_Praying the floor won't fall through _

_Again_

Katniss was tired. Tired of staying awake at night because she couldn't fall asleep without Peeta comforting her. Tired because her world had fallen apart when Peeta had returned to her, but hijacked.

_My mother accused me of losing my mind _

_But I swore I was fine_

Mrs. Everdeen, simply trying to be helpful, had told Katniss that she was going to go crazy if she didn't figure out a way to let Peeta go.

_You paint me a blue sky_

_And go back and turn it to rain_

_And I lived in your chess game_

_But you changed the rules every day_

Katniss grew angry as she remembered how Peeta had treated her in their first Games. It was a constant game, making sure that the audience saw what they wanted. Peeta had played it to his advantage, seducing her into thinking he loved her. She shook her head. Wasn't it the other way around? Wasn't it she who had done that to Peeta?

_Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone_

_Tonight_

Now that they were back from District 13, they tried to keep in contact over the phone, though their houses weren't far apart. Katniss didn't know which Peeta she would get on the other end of the line. Sometimes it was new Peeta, who wanted to kill her. He was full of threats. Sometimes it was old Peeta, who loved her with passion and wanted to confirm his love for her. Other times, it was a broken Peeta, who knew both sides of his problem, and often cried out that he wanted to love her again, but couldn't risk harming her. He said that if any harm came to Katniss he wouldn't be able to live with himself.

_Well I stopped picking up_

_And this song is to let you know why_

Eventually, Katniss stopped answering. The phone rang urgently, but Katniss couldn't. It was too much to deal with.

_Dear Peeta,_

_I see it all now that you're gone_

_Don't you think I was too young to be messed with_

She was genuinely angry at him for lying about their relationship going into the Quarter Quell. How could he have claimed that she was pregnant with his child? It was absolutely ridiculous.

_The girl in the dress cried the whole way home_

_I should have known_

Then she realized that she should have known Peeta would pull a stunt like that. His only thought, ever, was to protect her. It broke her heart that now, he couldn't.

_Well, maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame_

_Maybe it's you and your sick need to give love, then take it away_

She knew it wasn't his fault. The hijacking made him into someone else. He didn't mean to claim he loved her one day and plot to kill her the next.

_And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand_

_I look back in regret_

_I ignored when they said run as fast as you can_

Many people had told her to give up on him and distance herself from him. Her mother, Gale, Peeta's doctors, and others. She had refused to listen and now almost wished she had.

_Dear Peeta,_

_I see it all now it was wrong_

_Don't you think eighteen's too young to be played_

_By your dark twisted games_

It was wrong for him to do this to her. She knew he couldn't control it, but she wished that he could. That alone brought about the fear that if he was in control of his feelings, he really would want to kill her.

_When I loved you so?_

_I should have known_

Katniss thought that they had beaten the odds. The odds had been in their favor, and suddenly, they weren't. She should have known it was too good to be true.

_You were an expert at sorry_

_At keeping lines blurry_

Peeta had kept his distance from her, and left her with the feeling that he didn't want her anymore. Then he would turn around and apologize for the way he'd been acting. It was too confusing.

_Never impressed by me acing your tests_

_All the girls that you've run dry _

_With tired lifeless eyes _

_Cause you burned them out_

Peeta had tried to move on past Katniss. He had tried to start things with girls all over District 13. Those girls had known he would just go back to Katniss when the mood struck, but they had each fallen for Peeta's affable manners. He was his usual, charming self when he wasn't around Katniss. Then he would realize that he missed Katniss and break yet another girl's heart. Katniss felt guilty about this, but was powerless to stop him.

_I took your matches before fire could catch me _

_So don't look now_

_I'm shining like fireworks over your sad empty town _

The "girl on fire" tried to run away before Peeta could burn her. Now, she was the face of the revolution, and shining like a star over the former District 12.

_Dear Peeta,_

_I see it all now that you're gone_

_Don't you think I was too young to be messed with_

_The girl in the dress cried the whole way home_

_I see it all now that you're gone_

_Don't you think I was too young to be messed with_

_The girl in the dress wrote you a song_

_You should have known_

Peeta read the letter that Katniss had slipped to him in the hallway in passing. Seeing her had triggered the anger still locked up inside; the letter had suffered when he clenched his fist around it, trying to calm the tidal wave of emotions as he let Katniss pass instead of bashing her into the nearest wall.

He read the letter, which explained that Katniss was through waiting for him to get past his locked away anger and thoughts of murder. She wasn't going to wait around for him any longer. It was too painful for her to see him that way. She didn't want him to hurt himself by constantly having to watch every word and motion around her, trying not to set himself off.

Peeta collapsed against the wall, with his head in his hands. He would never make it if Katniss gave up on him. She was his sole hope.

Katniss heard him slide down the wall from around the corner. She peeked a look, and saw him holding the letter. He had laid down on the floor and curled up in a ball. The letter was clutched to his chest, and he looked deathly still. She approached him, and he stirred when she came close. She stopped dead in her tracks, unsure if he would lash out at her. Peeta slowly sat up, and his eyes begged her to stay. She sat beside him, and he put one arm around her shoulder.

"Please, don't give up on me." he whispered.

"You know I can't." she whispered back, and he wrapped her in a warm embrace. No matter what happened, they would fight it together.


End file.
